Destiny Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon dude your eyes are red are you stoned? no it's my allergies. what are you allergic to? Weed.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 04:46 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop acting like God's gift to women... The gift was the Orgasm, You were just the messenger boy...
←Rate | 06-27-2011 04:43 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a b!tch is two faced; Does that mean I have the right to smack the hell outta her twice?!
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:33 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just finished running 5 miles. Just fu@king with you. I'm eating a bacon and sour cream pizza.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:31 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hygiene Tips: 1.Don't 2.Smell 3.Like 4.Sh!t
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:30 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd appreciate if you'd stop calling me, but I'll probably respond if you decide to text
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:28 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've got curtains that couldn't pass a drug test.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:31 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon man says to wife "what would you do if I won the lottery"wife replies "take half and leave your ass"husband replies "good,i won 12 dollars here is 6 now get the hell out
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:30 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon would rather have a cure for the common hangover than the common cold.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:28 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon with great power,come's a great electric bill.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:27 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon nothing more say's you are a facebook stalker. Then updating your status with a girls name. When you meant to put it in the search box.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:26 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon People point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
←Rate | 04-10-2011 22:51 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon worried that my drinking might be affecting my memory. I'm also worried it might be affecting my memory.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 16:41 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon n't cranky, I just have a violent reaction to stupid people.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 16:39 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you deleted and blocked. You may now kiss my a$$!
←Rate | 04-10-2011 16:38 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon would swim across the Ocean for some of my Facebook friends! Lol, just kidding. There are sharks in there!
←Rate | 04-10-2011 16:38 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon If cars ran on BS, we would all have a full tank..
←Rate | 04-10-2011 16:35 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon One word that says It all "SHUDDAFUGUP"
←Rate | 04-08-2011 10:03 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not cranky.. I just have a violent reaction to stupid people..
←Rate | 04-07-2011 13:40 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone asks a dumb question it's really hard to not reply with a sarcastic answer
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:55 by Destiny Comments (0)  


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