Dave Funny Status Messages

   why are wedding dresses white? because you want the dishwasher to match the rest of the appliances

   The local car wash had a special "Brazilian Wax", now my car's carpet is gone....

   What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside? A lift

   John Kellogg (the cereal tycoon) founded the Race Betterment Foundation, an organization which planned to sterilize minorities in the U.S.

   I just got a job in a reggae band playing the triangle, I just stand at the back n ting

   I'm from England and have no idea who ray rice is....

   Just Heard Donald Sterling is planning on buying the Boston Bruins once he sells the Clippers!

   hanging out with Waldo.......Try to find me!

   Someone could get rich opening a business that untangles Christmas lights. Grrr....

   My kitchen smells like Ke$ha. (Tequila, lime and fish.)