@demiroquai Funny Status Messages

   Being Hugh Hefner's ex is as prestigious as being tall enough to get on a carnival ride.

   I bet even Tony Romo's throw pillows end up on the wrong couch.

   Confused the Facebook status box with Google search, and I don't have to go to any more family functions.

   If you use the term YOLO, then you are more than likely using these other popular phrases: “Would you like fries with that?” “Welcome to Walmart.” “Yes Officer. You may search my car under the terms of my probation.”

   If men are from Mars, that would explain why we try to probe everything.

   McDonald's is like unprotected sex for your heart... So awesome.

   You can't tell me Occupy Wall Street and the McRib's return are a coincidence.

   Seriously! How do they train the animals look so sad in those ASPCA commercials? They are convincing.

   Looks like Steve Jobs is on his iCloud.

   The space bar means everything... Its the difference bewteen "She gave me herpies" & "She gave me her pies." One's more delicious