topherboy1981 Funny Status Messages

   might not be the sharpest marble in the crayon box

   Bacon is best served with a side of bacon

   just updated my status........TAKE THAT SOCIETY!

   gotta love it when 75% of commercials are political ads. I find it odd that I'm actually looking forward to when commercials are 100% commercials again.

   hi weekend! let me introduce you to my basement..........you're not going anywhere!

   eating soup with chop sticks..........this may take awhile

   So Donald Trump is looking to run for president in 2012. I'd vote for him just to watch him tell Obama he's fired ;>)

   it too late convert Charlie Sheen into a Redsox's fan so they can start winning?

   ever have the feeling someone is watching you? I guess it doesn't help that I'm looking into this mirror.

   no letters were harmed in the making of this status update....okay, maybe the letter E's got stabbed but they had it coming....

   I want to run for president so I can make it legal to punch stupid people square in the face. I'll make punching stupid people my campaign.

   KFC's new "Chicken's Littles" commercial claim "Little is the new big".......poorly endowed men everywhere finally feel adequate after watching

   BREAKING NEWS: This just in two days after purchasing Lucas Arts, Disney in a deal with Harpo Studios will hire Oprah to play the role of Jar Jar Binks in the new upcoming Star Wars 7 movie...

   So if you ever want to experience the closest thing to a zombie apocalypse, all you have to do is wait in line for Black Friday at your nearest Wal-Mart...

   so I didn't want to wake up this morning and go to work. It's not that I don't like my job, it's just that I like being lazy more...

   with the upcoming end of the world quickly approaching, in lieu of Christmas cards this year, I have sent out checks out to all my friends in the amount of $1,000,000 post dated 12/22/2012. Good luck finding a bank that isn't under water everyone!

   Why hello Mr. Cup of Tea which is scoldingly hot for the next 30 minutes but magically becomes ice tea 1 minute later..

   when I make love, I like to do so to the sounds of the Star Trek theme, so that way the girl feels she's going to a place where no other girl has gone before

   Burger King's new company slogan: "When it comes to hunger, we don't horse around"...

   well the Oscars this year were dominated by the movie Pi....next year, I demand they make a movie named bacon....