joe fool Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon What I don't get is how paper beats a rock. It should be changed to Rock, Bomb With A Cuttable Fuse, Scissors.
←Rate | 12-12-2009 12:40 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon also slept with Tiger Woods.
←Rate | 12-13-2009 23:01 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was thirty, but I wasn't even close. Then I thought maybe by forty, but by forty I had less money than I did when I was thirty.
←Rate | 12-14-2009 22:26 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon insecure and naturally picks on those who are weaker than himself to give him some demented sense of self worth.
←Rate | 12-14-2009 22:29 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.
←Rate | 12-14-2009 22:30 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back in my day, evolution simply meant a more badass Pokemon.
←Rate | 12-14-2009 22:35 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon not only is band not a sport, it's just stupid. honestly. I want to watch football not freaks dressed up in some of the gayest costumes ever prance around the field
←Rate | 12-15-2009 23:18 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon In an ideal world I would have all ten fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just me a fist for punching.
←Rate | 12-15-2009 23:27 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.
←Rate | 12-18-2009 21:35 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never thought I would live to see the day that someone made a 'Piñata Endangerment Awareness' group...
←Rate | 12-18-2009 21:45 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon I plan to only eat aberdeen angus beef for every meal in January. aberdeen angus beef that has been slain by my hands. my BARE hands!
←Rate | 12-18-2009 22:01 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon My phone says it's nippy out. I don't know why it says that but it seems to be true...
←Rate | 12-18-2009 22:11 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon sometimes I feel like a crayon in a box full of markers...
←Rate | 12-19-2009 17:24 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon you're oddly sophisticated in a paradoxal mannor leaving me in this difficult conundrum. it puzzles me beyond recovery. I spend weeks crying because I cannot liberate myself from this bewildered state. I even began to think that my dog was a large gerbil.
←Rate | 12-27-2009 10:36 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is for two things: making babies and revenge.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 14:00 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't believe in the moon. I think it's just the back of the sun.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 14:21 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon The confetti in times square, I bet that came from Edward Cullen farting.
←Rate | 01-01-2010 12:20 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did some make a 'Piñata Endangerment Awareness' group on facebook??
←Rate | 02-04-2010 23:10 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.
←Rate | 02-05-2010 21:26 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon I say, when life gives you a lemon, wing it right back and add some lemons of your own!
←Rate | 02-05-2010 21:37 by joe fool Comments (0)  


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