indy dave Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I bet midgets are very busy this time of year... with all of the elf jobs and such...
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:00 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon any computer someone may have used to purchase you a gift. Tip 2: If you purchase gifts online, DELETE YOUR BROWSING HISTORY. That concludes today's lesson and tips.
←Rate | 12-09-2011 21:28 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun Fact of the Day: Of the 236 episodes of the great show "Friends" Jennifer Aniston has 'pokies' in 217 of them.
←Rate | 04-01-2012 11:24 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon my wife just fell asleep on the couch with her mouth open... hmmm, tempting!
←Rate | 04-20-2012 23:14 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook stock down 4.20 today... coincidence?
←Rate | 05-21-2012 18:43 by indy dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anderson Cooper - I had to come clean, I was caught singing "Call Me Maybe" in my car on the way to work!
←Rate | 07-04-2012 10:51 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its so hot I used my blow dryer as a cooling fan!
←Rate | 07-04-2012 15:50 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon there ever a time when "Criminal Minds" is not on TV??? Its either on ION, A&E, one of the Discovery Channels... even the Playboy Channel sometimes... (oh wait, that one is called "Criminal Vaginas"
←Rate | 07-04-2012 16:58 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon so my son stayed up until 11 last night watching a movie with us and he still got up at 6:45am... hmmm, next time use vodka in his juice maybe? Hey, I just drugged you, this is crazy, but here's a pillow, sleep in maybe?!?!?!
←Rate | 07-28-2012 07:15 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like Chris Kelly of "Kris Kross" finally tripped over his backwards pants falling and hitting his head. Ooops, nope, update: drug overdose. Shocker.
←Rate | 05-02-2013 09:09 by indy dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon sometimes if there is a cute girl at the register, I'll purposely purchase a "magnum" when I check out. BOOM!
←Rate | 06-06-2013 22:43 by indy dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon The reason they named it the "Xbox One" is they knew that it would be the only way they would hear "Xbox Won" Might as well rename it the "Xbox Done"
←Rate | 06-11-2013 15:54 by indy dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon we have some potentially severe weather headed our way this evening. please make sure you have your emergency kit: alcohol, lube, porn, blow up girlfriend, pain pills, heroin and a football helmet. Stay safe my friends!
←Rate | 06-12-2013 19:02 by indy dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anthony Weiner is still sexting... really, who cares??? However, if my last name were weiner and I had a son, I totally would have named him "Gigantic"
←Rate | 07-23-2013 19:29 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn't like to be trapped by boobies????
←Rate | 07-30-2013 16:12 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Riley Cooper said what??? Wait, isn't he Manning's brother??? No, thats Cooopah!
←Rate | 08-01-2013 19:04 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking Bad brought to you by Nationwide Insurance. Because you never know when Walter White is going to take you out...
←Rate | 08-18-2013 21:54 by indy dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon We need naked bitstrip cartoon people if this is going to work. Just my opinion.
←Rate | 10-25-2013 08:10 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon day 5 - I am thankful for vaginas
←Rate | 11-05-2013 12:59 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bought some sparkly wrapping paper thinking it was like a simulated sparkly kind. It is actually made out of sparkles. Well, now my floor, face, hands, clothes and kid look like Diamond Cherry Serenity & Candi came over to my house after the strip club.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 14:27 by indy dave Comments (0)  


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