Unknown comic Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon .What's your dog's handkerchief for? Is he robbing a stagecoach later?
←Rate | 06-20-2015 17:41 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I say potato you say potato, another guy says potato, everyone starts chanting potato, the potato meeting was a huge success
←Rate | 06-20-2015 17:44 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon A fun thing to do with when you're watching "JAWS" with someone is lean over halfway through and whisper "I think the shark did it."
←Rate | 06-21-2015 07:46 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gardening would be a great hobby if I didn't hate plants or going outside or doing things
←Rate | 06-23-2015 05:56 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Crazy how the Pointer Sisters say they're JUST burning doing the Neutron Dance like it's not a huge deal to catch fire from dancing
←Rate | 06-23-2015 05:59 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not enough dishes to fill up dishwasher. Had to wash three cups and a fork by hand. This must be what it felt like to live in the old west
←Rate | 06-25-2015 05:56 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would totally watch a House Hunters companion show that explains how some of these idiots have so much freakin' money.
←Rate | 06-27-2015 17:03 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never ever delete messages… just in case someone decides to start acting different like you weren’t saying that May 14, 2013 at 1:22 PM.
←Rate | 06-27-2015 17:10 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Those annoying "live chat" customer service pop-ups go away if you ask them what they're wearing.
←Rate | 06-27-2015 17:12 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon WAKE UP America!!! Are we going to let five UNELECTED dentists decide whether or not we choose Trident?
←Rate | 06-28-2015 18:52 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I shot out of bed last night with the awful realization that Charlie Tuna was a tunafish that loved the idea of people eating tunafish
←Rate | 07-05-2015 19:01 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Babies are like little miracles that poop wherever they want and scream at everybody
←Rate | 07-05-2015 19:03 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a kid my Mom would remind me that you can get killed crossing the street. At some point it sounded like a suggestion.
←Rate | 07-05-2015 19:18 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd love to hear about your weekend plans just give me a second to put on my airplane neck pillow.
←Rate | 07-05-2015 19:21 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fact that there is a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic load
←Rate | 07-05-2015 19:48 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT: there's no manly way to put on chapstick. I usually just make a mean face and hum Tupac songs.
←Rate | 07-16-2015 05:33 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just in one of those “Curl up and watch 25 episodes of ‘Small Wonder’ ” kinda moods.
←Rate | 07-17-2015 07:38 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's always awkward ending phone calls with people you love. I always say, "I love you" and they're like "Thank you for choosing Domino's Pizza."
←Rate | 07-17-2015 07:40 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I believe that society is ready for a return to dueling.
←Rate | 07-31-2015 05:28 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hi. I am the only Caucasian on the planet that doesn't care about Game of Thrones or how many Emmy nominations it has.
←Rate | 07-31-2015 05:30 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


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