That guy Funny Status Messages

   me+alcohol+nintendo64=profanity out the ass

   I clearly like all the music on my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle...then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes

   Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel by using a dial.

   If you don't post a picture of your food, does it still get eaten?

   Why are all these liberals only going to move to Canada if Trump gets elected? What's wrong with Mexico?