Stevielea Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Imagine having an IQ low enough to enjoy watching love island.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 05:21 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do I remember about the midget that attacked me. Very little.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 05:23 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know what's beautiful? Read the first word again.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 05:28 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trick your friends into thinking you are a professional tennis player By wiping your face with a towel every 30 seconds And throwing it at a child.
←Rate | 08-20-2018 07:35 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Part Of me says I can't keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "don't listen to that guy... He's drunk."
←Rate | 08-20-2018 11:39 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon "what did he say?" "Who is she?" "What just happened?" ( Repeat 30 times and you just watched a movie with my wife.)
←Rate | 08-20-2018 11:44 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having a bad day?? You could be a siamese twin attached to a gay brother who has a date and your the only one with an ass!
←Rate | 08-21-2018 02:55 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whomever has my Voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks....I'm in public!
←Rate | 08-21-2018 03:08 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now if you will excuse me, today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves.
←Rate | 08-22-2018 18:42 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Leaving your window open for an hour in the summertime and then the cast from f*@k!?g bug's Life start producing their second film!!
←Rate | 08-23-2018 18:27 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it's $50 to let go"
←Rate | 08-23-2018 18:32 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon ATTENTION: Due to BBQ setbacks, my ripped beach body Will be postponed another year. Thank you for understanding.
←Rate | 08-24-2018 09:50 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gas prices are so expensive...it would be cheaper to buy cocaine and run everywhere!
←Rate | 08-27-2018 05:42 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me, or is Tom cruise starting to look like a middle aged lesbian?
←Rate | 08-27-2018 14:36 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a middle-eastern friend shaking a carpet on 6th floor balcony. I called out "what's wrong ahmed, won't it start."
←Rate | 08-27-2018 17:53 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook just suggested I poke my wife.....yeah good one Facebook.....been trying for weeks!
←Rate | 08-28-2018 09:05 by Stevielea Comments (2)  


   messageicon Out of all the utensils to eat rice with how the f*@k did 2 sticks win?
←Rate | 08-30-2018 12:05 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Just because she weighed as much as 2 people, that doesn't mean you had a threesome."
←Rate | 08-31-2018 12:58 by Stevielea Comments (1)  


   messageicon Keep the earth clean! It isn't Uranus!
←Rate | 09-04-2018 03:10 by Stevielea Comments (1)  


   messageicon I didn't go to the gym today,....but the cashier's name at Macdonald's was Jim...sooo same thing.
←Rate | 09-04-2018 13:55 by Stevielea Comments (0)  



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