Slickpony Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon so....my uncle came out of the closet yesterday....Oh, he's not gay....he just has Alzheimer's and thought it was his car....
←Rate | 02-03-2012 01:47 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know....I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader"....but I can buy booze!....so Booyah B!itches!!
←Rate | 02-03-2012 01:49 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....I think if you win The Voice, you should get to motorboat Christina Aguilera....but, to be fair, if you lose....you have to motorboat Cee Lo Green....
←Rate | 02-05-2012 23:23 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know....right now I'm pretty disgusted with MIA....OH, not for giving America the finger....but because we were >this< close to forgetting her annoying ass ever existed....
←Rate | 02-05-2012 23:42 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon did you know....that if you set fire to LMFAO....they'll become ROTFLMAO?
←Rate | 02-07-2012 02:26 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....I just found a bottle of 5-Hour Energy in the gutter.....there was still 18 minutes of energy in it....just the boost I needed....
←Rate | 02-08-2012 12:28 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....my wife is going to start an all-girl punk band....it'll be called Fistful of Midol....Yea, they'll only play for a week each month tho....
←Rate | 02-08-2012 12:30 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....unfortunately....I put the "tiny" in "Is it in yet?" :(
←Rate | 02-09-2012 14:54 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Unicorn soup is freaking delicious! ~~ Noah, probably
←Rate | 02-09-2012 14:59 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know....it seems Assholism runs in my family....
←Rate | 02-10-2012 11:46 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know....it's been almost two months since Christmas.....I should probably stop ceaselessly referring to my p*nis as the "Pole-her Express"....
←Rate | 02-10-2012 11:57 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....has anyone else ever noticed....that Kurt Cobain killed himself one month after Justin Bieber was born....I guess Kurt knew....
←Rate | 02-10-2012 23:17 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know...."Manuscript" is probably the classiest place to hide the word "anus"....
←Rate | 02-14-2012 08:44 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know....I'm still waiting on the "Once you go black, you'll never go back" episode of Mythbusters....
←Rate | 02-14-2012 08:46 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I used to love her, but I had to kill her" ~~ Guns & Roses celebrating Valentines alone, probably....
←Rate | 02-14-2012 08:47 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I want you to tongue punch your fart box" ~~ my worst pick-up line ever, probably....
←Rate | 02-24-2012 23:58 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know....they say one in every four men are gay....so there must be one in my group of friends.....I hope it's Michael, 'cuz he's super cute....
←Rate | 04-23-2012 15:10 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....I've decided I'm going to write the first Gangsta Rap adaptation of Winnie-The-Pooh....I'm gonna call it 'Tigga Please'....
←Rate | 04-24-2012 17:07 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....I often joke that my wife is too fat for sex....I call her 'Missionary Impossible'....
←Rate | 07-12-2012 23:50 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon It picks the movie out quickly from the Redbox or it gets the hose again....you stupid b!tch....
←Rate | 07-13-2012 18:26 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


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