NJS Funny Status Messages

   I had a cab driver in Paris. The man smelled like a guy eating cheese while getting a permanent inside the septic tank of a slaughterhouse.

   We need a twelve-step group for compulsive talkers. They would call it On Anon Anon.

   I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did

   The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

   You say I'm afraid of commitment, but maybe it's you that's afraid of total uncertainty.

   If I was the richest person in the world...I'd trade it all in for a little more.

   Health nuts are going to feel stupid one day when they are lying in hospitals, dying of nothing

   Evolution is God's way of issuing upgrades.

   I had my family tree done… turns out I'm a quarter gay on my father's side.

   2012 doesn't mean the end of the world. It just means its time to buy a new Mayan calendar...that's how a f*cking calendar works. It ends.

   God created sex. Priests created marriage

   There is one vision that gives me constant happiness, your two enormous breasts

   What concert ticket costs 0.45 cents? .... 50 cent Feat. Nickleback....

   apparently there is a limit to how long you can wait to exhale ♥ rip whitney houston