Jiffy Pop Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I don't simply have problems like people often talk about. I just date or marry them.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 03:01 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have never met a US Congressman I didn't find completely honest and extremely intelligent. However I may need to add I have never met a US Congressman.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 03:05 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about "Freedom of Speech" is that everyone can openly express their Religious and Political views. The worst thing about "Freedom of Speech" is that everyone can openly express their Religious and Political views.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 14:21 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life has handed me a lot of things. Except lemons. The great mystery of life for me has not been "Why are we here?" or "What is my purpose?". Actually I'd be happy just finding out where exactly the free lemon line is.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 14:31 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon In my younger days I was proud to be on a "first name basis" with everyone at my job. But now as I approach retirement age I find myself to be on more of a "forgotten name basis" with my coworkers.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 14:39 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing makes an 80 year old Grandma from St. Louis cuss like two ballplayers in a World Series Game who simply watch an easy to catch pop fly simply fall to the ground.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 21:25 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon After much experience paying bank overdraft fees, I have come to believe it can't be mere coincidence that all the letters found in "Debit Card" can be rearranged to spell "baD Credit"...
←Rate | 10-24-2013 02:56 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon As the proud parents of a high school senior, my wife and I want our son to be successful and have all the things we couldn't ever afford. Then we want to move in with him.
←Rate | 10-24-2013 07:00 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon After our breakup, my ex once begged me over and over again to go out, or as my lawyer called it "Violating a Protection Order"
←Rate | 10-24-2013 07:10 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Hey, it's been 10 seconds. Check your pockets again. Maybe your missing keys have magically reappeared there.” (My Brain)
←Rate | 10-24-2013 22:59 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has anyone created a national do not poke list for Facebook yet?
←Rate | 10-24-2013 23:03 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I had half the respiratory health and vitality that my dog does. She smells everyone's a$$ and still never catches a cold.
←Rate | 10-25-2013 05:34 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife actually questioned whether or not I really listen to her while the TV is on. I can't believe she actually interrupted the game just to tell me that.
←Rate | 10-26-2013 00:25 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not a Dr. or a Nutritionist, but I'm pretty sure the worst thing you can put into any high fat/ high calorie dish is your fork.
←Rate | 10-28-2013 03:05 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think it matters if a person is right-handed or left-handed, as long as they aren't under-handed.
←Rate | 10-28-2013 17:19 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon One more reason that beer is good for you is that it's easier for your body to process than most other beverages. This is because it doesn't have to stop to change color.
←Rate | 10-28-2013 19:01 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any teenager who is anxious to run his or her own life is obviously too young to do it.
←Rate | 10-28-2013 23:50 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Avon stocks have lost 11% of their value this year. Apparently they are under investigation for allegedly bribing foreign officials. Well it looks like no more free lipstick and panties for Kim Jong-Un.
←Rate | 10-30-2013 05:51 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chris Brown has recently entered Rehab for anger management issues. I for one have faith in Chris. He has never faced anything that he couldn’t beat.
←Rate | 10-30-2013 05:53 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Australia's highest court just denied worker's compensation to a bureaucrat who was injured while having sex during a business trip. When asked about the decision, the female employee said “Once again I got screwed".
←Rate | 10-30-2013 05:55 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


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