JOHN Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]
«Previous
1

Search results for status messages containing 'JOHN': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 2

   messageicon fighting the financial crisis
←Rate | 02-23-2009 09:21 by John Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life
←Rate | 11-16-2009 13:30 by john Comments (0)  


   messageicon An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her
←Rate | 11-19-2009 20:06 by john Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sticks and stones may break my bones but words ... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading to a lowered self-esteem and decreased work-related efficiency
←Rate | 11-19-2009 20:07 by john Comments (0)  


   messageicon The weather in New York is partly cloudy and warm...just like A-Rods urine sample
←Rate | 06-03-2010 18:50 by john Comments (0)  


   messageicon cellphones always killin the mood. chick texted "your ducking sexy".. sigh. so I responded "your spelling makes me think your on quack"
←Rate | 07-11-2010 21:20 by john Comments (0)  


   messageicon enjoyed deleting 10 friends to get a free Whopper.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 14:05 by John Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your thinking of watching...Scott Pilgrim vs. the World...Just shoot yourself in the face now and save yourself some misery.
←Rate | 09-28-2010 11:52 by John Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bill & Melinda Gates are my new favorite(celebrities)...Most of the rest of them are just greedy,rich,self-righteous assholes that think they need all that money.
←Rate | 10-03-2010 20:01 by John Comments (3)  


   messageicon I feel like LIFESAVERS candy is overstating their importance...But just to be on the safe side I'm gonna go get some! If I'm found dead,I would like them to be sued for false advertising.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 13:07 by John Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
←Rate | 11-05-2010 15:38 by john Comments (0)  


   messageicon I stand in an elite group, Procrastinators! The leaders of tomorrow...
←Rate | 11-14-2010 08:59 by John Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Lord, Please give us back Leslie Neilson and will let you have Justin Beiber, Richard Simmons, or Snooki......your pick
←Rate | 11-29-2010 09:49 by John Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who would have thought the Detroit Lions would have played the best football in the state of Michigan this weekend?
←Rate | 01-02-2011 20:40 by John Comments (0)  


   messageicon In my opinion,nobody needs a girlfriend or boyfriend untill they get married...
←Rate | 02-05-2011 14:02 by John Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had sex last night from 1:55 to 3:02...I thought I was a machine until I realized the time had just changed.
←Rate | 03-13-2011 14:25 by John Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your eyes are red,the beer is green don't party too hard,your not Charlie Sheen!
←Rate | 03-17-2011 18:28 by John Comments (0)  


   messageicon Todays suggestion...Someone just KILL terry jones,so more people dont die because of HIS stupidity. Like the GOVT hasent done it in the past,US citizen or not. Hell I'll do it,just give me the go ahead.
←Rate | 04-04-2011 14:34 by John Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.
←Rate | 04-09-2011 21:31 by John Comments (0)  


   messageicon 4/20 is the day that some of you celebrate smokin dope. 4/21 is the day your employer (If you have one) celebrates random drug testing!
←Rate | 04-20-2011 15:05 by John Comments (0)  



«Previous
1

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left