IARU Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My car's GPS allows you to change voices. I tried the one featuring Karen Carpenter. When I try to calculate my arrival time, the only answer she gives is, "We've only just begun."
←Rate | 02-06-2017 14:56 by IARU Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't wait for the next Women's March. Off a cliff...
←Rate | 12-03-2017 22:16 by IARU Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok, I'm a Boomer. But not a Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup with cubed white meat chicken casserole Boomer.
←Rate | 11-14-2019 06:51 by IARU Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm watching a little known show on Netflix called Tearjerker. It's about a guy who cries while he m@sturbates.
←Rate | 05-04-2020 21:38 by IARU Comments (1)  


   messageicon Then: Teenage girls kept a private diary and got upset if anyone read it. Now: They reveal everything on Facebook and get upset if no one reads it.
←Rate | 05-06-2020 09:01 by IARU Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coronavirus Problem #137: How does one receive oral gratification when the other participant is wearing a mask?
←Rate | 05-19-2020 06:07 by IARU Comments (0)  


   messageicon It rained here in Arizona today, but it was a dry rain.😛
←Rate | 05-25-2020 22:40 by IARU Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just when I'm feeling proud to be an American, The Connors comes on.
←Rate | 05-26-2020 20:32 by IARU Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just when I'm happy to be alive, The Connors comes on.
←Rate | 05-26-2020 20:34 by IARU Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Alloweth me, I shan't be damned To probe around your lovely clam." - Spongebob Shakespeare
←Rate | 05-28-2020 13:53 by IARU Comments (0)  


   messageicon The MSM claims national polls have Biden ahead by 14 points. By "national", they mean New York City, Chicago, Philadelphia, Los Angeles and cemeteries.
←Rate | 10-05-2020 09:40 by IARU Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coronavirus Deaths: 216,000 Medical Malpractice Deaths: 400,000 You're safer getting Covid than going to the doctor.
←Rate | 10-07-2020 08:33 by IARU Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a man, never watch your woman struggle to pay bills ... dump her and find one that has some money.
←Rate | 10-13-2020 11:23 by IARU Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm hard at work writing song lyrics which center around my offering a ride to those asking to be taken to Funkytown.
←Rate | 10-16-2020 11:17 by IARU Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to personally address Facebook in telling them we know how to vote and to kindly stop with those imbecilic notices.
←Rate | 10-19-2020 07:50 by IARU Comments (0)  


   messageicon Those who want the minimum wage set to $15 an hour; calling it a living wage are clueless. How about a living education? If you're 30 and making fries for a living, don't expect me to subsidize your poor life choices.
←Rate | 11-02-2020 12:45 by IARU Comments (0)  



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