Dude Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Honey, guys don't want to get with you because you're hot, they want to get with you because you're easy. Know the difference.
←Rate | 07-22-2013 11:11 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I call morning wood, you're gonna call breakfast in bed.
←Rate | 10-27-2013 20:37 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think buying condoms is awkward, you should try returning them.
←Rate | 11-09-2013 12:31 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Phil Robertson just learned the hard way that once you get sponsorships you can no longer express your opinion...unless your sponsors give you that opinion.
←Rate | 12-18-2013 23:08 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, if you're gonna catfish a dude, at least give him some head.
←Rate | 05-08-2014 14:17 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Arkansas is like a pretty bimbo who's a lousy lay. Nice to look at but not very stimulating.
←Rate | 05-25-2014 06:35 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does Joel Osteen give anyone else the creeps or is it just me?
←Rate | 05-26-2014 11:42 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon When did old skanks become cougars?
←Rate | 06-12-2014 06:17 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon What you call "camping", I call "aggresive waiting".
←Rate | 07-05-2014 05:46 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love you, flushable baby wipes.
←Rate | 07-16-2014 01:44 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, if you ever get a big ego because a lot of guys want to get with you, just remember this, some guys have been known to get it on with farm animals.
←Rate | 09-12-2014 17:59 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got bukkaked by a Krispy Kreme
←Rate | 09-15-2014 09:45 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's the Holiday Season; clean your own spunk off her back.
←Rate | 12-02-2014 05:24 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q: What's more disgusting than a hicky on a hemorrhoid? A: The chick that put it there.
←Rate | 12-06-2014 08:22 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon When did comedian Ron White turn into an old lesbian?
←Rate | 03-13-2015 06:22 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man hits his wife with a car, whose fault is it? The mans, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
←Rate | 03-19-2015 04:34 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're doable, not dateable. Know your place.
←Rate | 03-20-2015 05:47 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Exercise, eat right, get good sleep, take your vitamins...die anyway.
←Rate | 04-04-2015 04:53 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only time your woman screams your nam ein bed is when you fart in your sleep.
←Rate | 05-01-2015 05:27 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mayweather hugged on Manny more during that fight then my dad did the whole time I was growing up.
←Rate | 05-03-2015 01:16 by Dude Comments (0)  

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