Dani Funny Status Messages

   why do they say that you can't buy friends?! I haven't had a problem with that! It's keeping them after I am broke ...that is the problem!!

   The voices in my head thought it was funny... so what's your problem? Oh wait... you might be missing the best part... A sense of humor!!

   I sound so good singing after a couple drinks, that my neighbors even called the cops to come and hear me too!

   I was asked if I liked blowing bubbles... but I am not sure. Who is Bubbles?!

   Now that I am older... I wear bell bottom pants so I can flash the guys a little easier!

   I dress to kill.... and have been told I cook the same way!

   Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!

   You're not yourself today... I noticed the improvement immediately!!

   Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What's your name?!

   I decided to take an aerobics class. I bent... twisted... gyrated... jumped up and down... and perspired for a half an hour. But by the time I got my tights on.... the class was over!

   My favorite mythical creature is the Honest Politician!!

   Never mess up an apology with an excuse!

   If a man says something in the woods and there is no woman there to hear him.... is he still wrong?!

   I may be driving slowly... but I am still ahead of you!!!

   The harder you fall..... the higher you bounce!!

   When you have an enemy mad at you...they will break your bones. But if you have a friend mad at you.... they will break your heart!!

   With everything going on lately... I've got a lot of serious thinking to do! Oops....Did I say "Thinking".... I meant "Drinking"!!

   I'm not drunk, all right. I just have a speech impediment ... and a stomach virus ... and an inner ear infection.

   Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

   I know a million ways to always pick the wrong thing to say! Hey... I'm multi-talented!! I can talk and piss you off at the same time!