@psym0niedk9 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If an indoor shooting range is burning, what does one scream to inform them?
←Rate | 12-15-2010 05:00 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm one of those guys who shouts their own name during an orgasm just to see the reaction of their partner
←Rate | 12-15-2010 05:01 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried everything last night to get the baby to sleep.Finally after 5 bottles he went down.He's going to have a bad hangover!!
←Rate | 12-15-2010 07:31 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chaos: What erupts when he-who-lives-in-a-glass-house invites he-who-is-without-sin for dinner.
←Rate | 12-15-2010 11:01 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see nothing but continued growth and expansion for the foreseeable future... but enough about my diet.
←Rate | 12-16-2010 04:07 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to give you a nice going away present. But first, you have to do your part.
←Rate | 12-16-2010 04:12 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girl told me I should embrace more of the holiday season. So I glued a mistletoe to my back pocket!!
←Rate | 12-16-2010 20:04 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
←Rate | 12-20-2010 08:55 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snow Tip: The other people out shoveling are called "neighbors." They are like Facebook friends who live nearby.
←Rate | 12-27-2010 20:40 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm opening a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50
←Rate | 01-01-2011 09:00 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On my 8th slice of pizza watching the bigget loser!! Time to make a change!! Where's the remote??
←Rate | 01-04-2011 21:37 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I am, is the shortest sentence in the English language, funny how "I do" is the longest!!
←Rate | 01-07-2011 23:11 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lost 9lbs in one day using a new diet, where I ran to the bathroom every 5 minutes for 24 hours. The stomach virus DVD workout will soon be out!
←Rate | 01-11-2011 08:52 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know times are tough when you receive a friend request on facebook from Tom Anderson (MySpace). I guess he is one of the 47% that got fired from MySpace!
←Rate | 01-11-2011 16:35 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor came rudely banging at my door at 2:30 am, luckily for him I was up practicing on my new drums!!
←Rate | 01-17-2011 12:46 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is so fat she speaks in surround sound!!
←Rate | 01-17-2011 12:48 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was in a Spelling Bee onze. But I lost bekause the other students cheeted.
←Rate | 01-22-2011 13:45 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 15:50 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Groundhog just slid a note under the door that read 6 more months winter. Don't worry I've got my shotgun and I'm asking him again.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 06:04 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


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