@clarkysj Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Why don't blind men skydive?...........Because it scares the sh*t out of the dog.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 06:35 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon looking forward to July 12th... England 4?5?6? - USA 0
←Rate | 06-06-2010 11:53 by @clarkysj Comments (18)  


   messageicon giving a warning to America.... Wayne Rooney.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 15:54 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon donates £2 a month to starving Africans - and what do they do? Go out and buy a f-kin trumpet!
←Rate | 06-15-2010 10:38 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Precision. Concentration. Patience & Fearlessness. 4 skills I possess whilst shavin my nuts that I wish I could apply to other aspects of my life!
←Rate | 06-16-2010 06:26 by @clarkysj Comments (2)  


   messageicon Fact of the day... no such thing as an American site unless the website is about America. Football is what's going on in the World Cup... England will wake up and beat Slovenia: Fact!
←Rate | 06-19-2010 14:03 by @clarkysj Comments (1)  


   messageicon Before you send me any sick jokes about that murderer in the North East don't bother. It's not even rauolmoatly funny.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 11:42 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pain is nature's way of saying "Don't do that." - Painkillers are mankind's way of saying "F*ck it ... go ahead"
←Rate | 07-15-2010 08:29 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon It goes in dry, it comes out wet. The longer it stays in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and it starts to sag - It's not what you think... it's a Tetley's Tea Bag!!
←Rate | 08-03-2010 05:47 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why baby outfits have pockets? You can just imagine your 8 month old saying "yep fag's, phone, i-pod, keys ... ready to go."
←Rate | 08-07-2010 15:09 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon always right and never wrong. The only time I thought I was wrong was when I thought I was wrong but I wasn't - I was right!!
←Rate | 08-22-2010 14:35 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon rang British Telecom today and said "I want to report a nuisance caller." He said "Not you again."
←Rate | 08-26-2010 05:18 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon The next time someone calls you from a withheld number just answer it and say, "hello London sperm bank. You squeeze it - we freeze it!" ... See what happens.
←Rate | 09-02-2010 09:34 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon So they've sent George Michael to prison. Isn't that like sentencing Vanessa Feltz to eight weeks in a chocolate factory?
←Rate | 09-16-2010 05:33 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon noticed on the news earlier that the Popemobile has got a very distinctive personal number plate: 1 H4V3 M4DD13. No idea what that's all about.
←Rate | 09-17-2010 08:19 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dave needs to get more sheep in Farmville! ... Dave needs to get 6 more points to advance in Mafia Wars! ... Dave needs to get a f-kin life!
←Rate | 09-18-2010 09:54 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Female driving instructors... The equivalent of a blind person teaching kids to read.
←Rate | 09-18-2010 09:54 by @clarkysj Comments (1)  


   messageicon just seen Roy Hodgson speeding down the motorway at 140mph, with a splif in one hand a can of Carlsberg in the other. This fella will do anything for 3 points!!
←Rate | 10-05-2010 08:28 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...BBC News: 'Cap For Unemployed Families On Benefits' - Burberry by any chance?
←Rate | 10-06-2010 04:47 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon How about instead of doing the 69, we just do the 68. It's where you do me... and I owe you one.
←Rate | 10-06-2010 04:50 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


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