punkie Funny Status Messages

   USA & Pakistan's relationship status= It's complicated

   The definition of irony: Not knowing the difference between a definition and an example.

   I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?'

   When you start complaining that all your dreams have not come true, you have to realize that not all your nightmares came true either.

   Never run after a bus or a woman....There will always be another.

   To the gal who posted that guys are "creepy" on facebook, dont flatter yourself. You're not all that.

   How many women does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, she just holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.

   Awkward....That moment when you think you are being helpful by telling someone they "got a lil dirt on their forehead" and they tell you it's Ash Wednesday.

   If a robin makes red babies and a bluebird makes blue babies, what kind of bird makes no babies? A swallow.

   Call me childish, but I can't help chuckling to myself whenever I see a senior citizen point at something using their middle finger.

   FaceBook account for sale....Friends included!

   I don't accept blame well, but it's not my fault.

   I think it's about time we, as a sophisticated society, start getting birds to wear diapers.

   OK, Super Moon has arrived. Not quite what I expected ., it was kinda super. Not Super Duper but yeah.

   Do you know why rednecks like to "do it" doggy style? So they can both watch NASCAR.

   Did you hear about the elephant with diarrhea? It's all over town.

   thinking about landscaping the back yard with fake Easter grass.

   He was suckled by hyenas and had only cobras for playmates and now he's in hell. Let's pose his bullet-holed head for a round-the-world-see-we-really-did-it photo op and get busy with the real business of America - planning our summer vacations!

   Busted, Disgusted, and most of all, I can't be trusted.

   Whats the difference between a peeping tom and a pickpocket? A pickpocket snatches watches......