minnie haha Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I accidentally drank two energy drinks this morning and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
←Rate | 09-25-2013 11:22 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to test my theory that tequila kills the flu... Or brain cells... Whatever, doesn't matter... something's gonna die tonight.
←Rate | 01-08-2013 17:12 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it’s mostly grapes actually. Okay, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I’m having wine for dinner.
←Rate | 01-27-2013 19:14 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't let the propeller hat fool you... I have no idea how to fly this plane.
←Rate | 03-30-2013 10:50 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon No thank you GPS. I have this magic ring on my left hand that connects me to the nice young lady in the passenger's seat who knows everything.
←Rate | 04-24-2013 20:50 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can read this please let me know - because it means I blocked the wrong person.
←Rate | 03-14-2013 21:10 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whew! Twelve miles on the treadmill today! And by "treadmill" I mean "bar stool" and by "miles" I mean "beers."
←Rate | 01-07-2013 20:37 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Uh-oh. My guardian angel just enrolled in the witness protection program.
←Rate | 08-12-2012 13:00 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon woke up this morning to a little frost on the pumpkins. Guess it's time to start wearing a bra again.
←Rate | 09-28-2012 20:55 by minnie haha Comments (1)  


   messageicon Either my spidey senses are tingling, or my foot just fell asleep....
←Rate | 01-09-2013 21:45 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon There’s this one dumb ass that found me on Facebook and won’t give up. Repeated friend requests, inbox messages.. It’s driving me nuts. I know at some point I’ll have to give in, but just because we’re married it doesn't mean I have to like him,
←Rate | 03-30-2013 12:24 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon The man who invented Velcro has died. RIP.
←Rate | 04-04-2013 12:23 by minnie haha Comments (2)  


   messageicon Screw doing sit ups...teddy bears don't and everyone loves them.
←Rate | 01-16-2013 12:36 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable.....
←Rate | 02-06-2013 20:39 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I won employee of the month!!!.... again! I love being self employed.
←Rate | 03-12-2013 16:19 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven't got a Twitter account, so I just carry around a megaphone to announce what I'm doing at random times. So far I've got 3 followers - but I think 2 are cops.
←Rate | 02-05-2013 14:25 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
←Rate | 02-04-2013 23:04 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
←Rate | 02-10-2013 22:07 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I came across a show called "It's Me or the Dog"......I gotta say that I was immensely disappointed when I found that it wasn't a game show where people had to guess who farted...
←Rate | 02-10-2013 22:38 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon maybe the Mayans were referring to the Twinkiepocalypse.
←Rate | 11-16-2012 12:20 by minnie haha Comments (0)  



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