flipphonescott Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Man I am beat! Feel like I just flew on United
←Rate | 04-16-2017 09:39 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had to talk with my son about masturbation today...I explained that it is natural, and he should probably knock before he comes into my room from now on.
←Rate | 01-20-2014 20:26 by flipphonescott Comments (1)  


   messageicon I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my doctor calls them, symptoms.
←Rate | 02-04-2015 22:10 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon i will never buy a foam finger again !
←Rate | 08-26-2013 19:58 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon when did the world give up on Common Courtesy
←Rate | 09-06-2013 22:39 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon My horoscope says I will meet the woman of my dreams today. Not sure how my wife will take the news but I'm pretty damn excited.
←Rate | 01-20-2014 20:28 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon what wine goes with Mood Stabilizers
←Rate | 02-07-2015 13:47 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm single by choice. Not MY choice, but it's still a choice.
←Rate | 08-19-2012 04:05 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon i have been upgraded to Santas naughty list Platinum member
←Rate | 12-18-2016 14:55 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk
←Rate | 10-15-2014 21:39 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!
←Rate | 02-04-2015 22:11 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Colorado Legalizes Marijuana and peyton manning buys 20 papa johns stores in Colorado! some people just get it!
←Rate | 11-09-2012 07:42 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon I HAVE SEEN MORE of tiger woods on facebook today than him on the pga tour in years
←Rate | 05-29-2017 16:21 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon buying bottles rockets and crown royal! good day to be a grown-up
←Rate | 07-04-2013 17:42 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Named my daughter after my mother in law. In fact, Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 5 tomorrow
←Rate | 12-06-2016 19:34 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Diet is going great! No hostess snack cakes at all this year
←Rate | 01-05-2013 18:49 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon my life coach told me to just let the clock run out!
←Rate | 06-16-2015 21:16 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinking about free healthcare and how much it's going to cost me?
←Rate | 10-11-2013 21:08 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to the election I may start a moving co.
←Rate | 11-06-2016 21:51 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon I AM SO READY TO KISS 2016 GOODBYE!
←Rate | 12-17-2016 18:29 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  



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