Rashad Hammoud Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Google turned 12 this year, so now we have 1 more year to use it before it turns into a teenager and wont answer anything!
←Rate | 05-23-2011 10:42 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (1)  


   messageicon I've been waiting 2 hours for an employee to come and wash my hands like the sign says….
←Rate | 02-08-2011 15:14 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hurricanes are like women: when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.
←Rate | 05-23-2011 10:55 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon Israel changes its relationship status with Egypt on FB to "it's complicated". Lebanon, Syria & Palestine 'like' this
←Rate | 02-01-2011 17:21 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been told I have a face for Photoshop.
←Rate | 06-13-2011 10:07 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution…
←Rate | 03-03-2011 03:17 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon If friends could be bought at the store, I'd buy you. And I'd get a good deal because those “slightly irregular” bins are always discounted.
←Rate | 02-01-2011 17:24 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon I won't believe the Groundhog saw his shadow until he updates his Facebook status.
←Rate | 02-03-2011 16:58 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
←Rate | 06-07-2011 16:57 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys, it's time to start working on those apologies for Valentine's Day.
←Rate | 02-08-2011 15:13 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just denied 47 requests to play FarmVille, apparently I need new friends.
←Rate | 05-23-2011 10:44 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe if my boss saw how many statuses I can drop in a day, he'd stop saying I'm unproductive.
←Rate | 02-03-2011 16:57 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if all hot girls go through life believing that everyone is being genuinely nice to them all the time.
←Rate | 06-13-2011 10:06 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon Top Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "what do you need?"
←Rate | 02-03-2011 17:03 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon They've asked me to appear on “I Shouldn't Be Alive.” I didn't survive anything. They just don't like me.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 03:16 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon COOL TIP: If a homeless person is ever asking you for money, cut them off and say "hey do you got a dollar". (This usually throws them off)
←Rate | 02-02-2011 00:15 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got this great new calorie counting app. Each day I go for a new high score.
←Rate | 06-13-2011 10:06 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.
←Rate | 02-03-2011 16:59 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you watch Godzilla vs. King Kong backwards it's about two monsters who forget their differences and build a city
←Rate | 05-23-2011 10:48 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon The BIG difference between men and women is that women will complain if they switched genders while men will appreciate the opportunity!
←Rate | 01-24-2012 02:47 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


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