Nunthewizr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It's always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I'm always like, "I love you," and they're like, "Thank you for choosing Pizza Hut."
←Rate | 08-16-2013 20:21 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought about going out tonight but am too lazy to take a shower and clean up. Times like this, make me wish Walmart had a bar.
←Rate | 01-07-2012 10:55 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Adult movies now available in 3D?!? Some thing I just don't want to see flying at my face.
←Rate | 12-14-2010 21:25 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that's how us guys feel about push-up bras!!
←Rate | 01-21-2011 17:49 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
←Rate | 04-28-2011 20:01 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they always staff the slowest cashier at the express lanes at Walmart?
←Rate | 07-27-2010 21:19 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are going to be so many Snookis this year for Halloween. I think I will dress up as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face.
←Rate | 10-29-2010 16:10 by Nunthewizr Comments (5)  


   messageicon I wonder if employees for pornography sites get into trouble for looking at non-related work websites during the day. We caught you misusing company time. CNN? Amazon? Bed Bath and Beyond? We're not paying you to look at that kind of crap.
←Rate | 05-03-2013 22:50 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 20:21 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeah....Hi, I'm watching your commercial cash for gold and you just showed a woman selling her wedding ring for $500. No, I don't want to sell gold, I want to meet her. She's hot and we know her marriage isn't working
←Rate | 11-08-2010 22:00 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cure for the economy: Send welfare checks in an envelope that can be used as a condom.
←Rate | 11-21-2011 12:26 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The inventor of the "Bumpit" made millions selling that hair accessory to women. I'm going to invent the "F**kit" and market it to women for those bad hair days.
←Rate | 03-11-2010 09:42 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her: Are you listening to me? Me: Trying. But when you talk, your boobs jiggle. It's distracting. Her: Grow up. Me: They did it again!
←Rate | 11-21-2011 12:26 by nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love someone, let them know often. Because you might not be able to say it again. Also, same thing works for people you f*cking hate.
←Rate | 04-17-2012 10:17 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay...someone explain this to me. You have five urinals in a public restroom and are using the one all the way at the end. Someone walks in and....out of the four other available urinals, decides to "neighbor pee" in the one next to you......WTH?!?
←Rate | 09-09-2010 17:31 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O Donnell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O Donnell.
←Rate | 10-31-2010 20:48 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Ok who was the moron that came up with idea of the kiddie shopping carts shaped like animals,trains, race, cars or whatever! Parents do you really need to push your kids around the store in in a shopping cart bigger then the car you came to the store in!
←Rate | 11-02-2010 21:08 by Nunthewizr Comments (2)  


   messageicon If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn't have couches at this Best Buy
←Rate | 11-19-2011 22:00 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is what I spent all those years learning my ABDs for?
←Rate | 11-02-2010 20:41 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just out of curiousity....Does anyone know how to get blood out of clothes??? Better yet, carpet??? Thanks!!!
←Rate | 03-16-2010 18:41 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  



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