K-Mac Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just a Christmas reminder. Buy your kids a big pack of batteries and attach a card that says "Toys not Included".
←Rate | 11-27-2011 17:16 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll never understand dentists. They stab you with little metal hooks and then tell you "Your gums wouldn't bleed if you flossed more".
←Rate | 02-29-2012 15:35 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember when you'd be driving along and see a smashed cassette tape by the side of the road with the tape stretched out forever, flying on the breeze of every passing car? I miss those days.
←Rate | 03-12-2012 14:56 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my front door faces the wrong direction. People keep finding it.
←Rate | 03-12-2012 15:04 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you just hate those people that just stroll across the street like they are so important/cool and have no consideration for anybody else? I'm changing the sound of my horn to gunfire.
←Rate | 06-17-2011 18:15 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I'm forgetting to do.
←Rate | 04-15-2012 22:23 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon NBA's first games start Christmas day....Worst Christmas present EVER!!
←Rate | 11-27-2011 08:00 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin....and muffins are healthy. Your welcome.
←Rate | 02-04-2012 08:30 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't wait til Feb. 15th...otherwise known as 1/2 price chocolate day.
←Rate | 02-10-2013 18:27 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part about living by myself is not having to explain a lot of things......a LOT of things.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 09:47 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just demolished another box of macaroni and cheese buy trying to "Push here to open".
←Rate | 11-06-2012 16:54 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks to Jersey Shore, Crayola has a new color....Whorange.
←Rate | 05-24-2012 18:45 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon All men approve of premarital sex......until they have a daughter.
←Rate | 07-28-2012 08:58 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could really, really use some shenanigans.
←Rate | 08-17-2012 08:13 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was at the drug store and the kid in front of me was buying Magnum condoms. I gave him a thumbs up. He said "Impressed?" I said "I am impressed, that you bought those with a straight face".
←Rate | 10-04-2012 01:34 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it when I go to McDonalds they ask if I want ketchup and they give me one packet for for my large fries. I go to Taco Bell they ask if I want hot sauce and I get sixteen packets for two tacos.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 11:45 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon One things for sure, I can always count on my fingers.
←Rate | 02-20-2012 21:55 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
←Rate | 07-16-2012 08:59 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss being the age when I thought I would have my sh!t together by the age I am now.
←Rate | 03-01-2012 20:46 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn, three raptures and I'm still here....I'm starting to think there must be something wrong with me.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 08:17 by K-Mac Comments (0)  



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