Jeff W Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Pamela Anderson looked so confused on Dancing With The Stars. I don't beleive she has ever danced without a pole before.
←Rate | 03-24-2010 00:24 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon my daughter saw a picture in a zoo book and said, "Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!" I took a deep breath, then asked "What did you call it?" "It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!" And so it does, "A f r I c a n Elephant"
←Rate | 11-04-2010 23:59 by Jeff W Comments (3)  


   messageicon Kim Kardashian on Twitter: "Casey Anthony not guilty? I am speechless!" Someone replied: "So was Nicole Brown's family when your dad got OJ off".
←Rate | 07-05-2011 23:20 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you ever notice that all lesbians look like Justin Bieber?
←Rate | 06-27-2010 11:13 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Valentines Day is the only day of the year that the guy with the smallest package gets the girl.
←Rate | 02-14-2014 09:29 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do they sell Alphabet Soup in China?
←Rate | 02-02-2011 13:43 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Black Friday is America's version of Running with the Bulls!
←Rate | 11-26-2010 05:19 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how much of a deduction I would get in figure skating by having to keep one hand on the wall the whole time?
←Rate | 02-09-2014 14:30 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon How long before a gator eats somebody on that show called Swamp People? "Choot 'em, Clint, Choot 'em!"
←Rate | 06-27-2011 08:03 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon DELTA = Don't Ever Leave The Airport
←Rate | 08-08-2016 19:10 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oprah's show on Veganism just inspired me to eat a Cheeseburger.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 13:40 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm taking my family to see the Nutcracker on Saturday. Of course I'm talking about my mother-in-law, not the show.
←Rate | 12-19-2012 22:51 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Paul McCartney is going to be pissed when he realizes his new wife spends twice as much on shoes as his last wife.....
←Rate | 10-10-2011 10:26 by Jeff W Comments (1)  


   messageicon Wow, I've been on the No Sugar Diet for one day and have already lost ... my will to live.
←Rate | 03-22-2016 11:59 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shot my first turkey yesterday....scared the sh!t out of everybody in the frozen food section!
←Rate | 11-25-2010 07:22 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon 20/20, Piers Morgan, Howard Stern........ I think the only show Charlie Sheen hasn't been on in the past three days is Two And A Half Men!
←Rate | 03-01-2011 23:47 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon So let me get this straight. There's a War on Women but no War on Terror? Hey guys, little less focus on the labia little more on Libya.
←Rate | 09-12-2012 21:47 by Jeff W Comments (1)  


   messageicon The fastest way to get my son out the door on a school morning is to ask him if he wants a hug...
←Rate | 08-21-2013 08:19 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon I shot my first turkey yesterday....scared the crap out of everybody in the frozen food section!
←Rate | 11-25-2010 07:20 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just remember, Michael Jordan would not have been a six time NBA champion without the government building the roads that got him to the game!
←Rate | 07-16-2012 15:19 by Jeff W Comments (0)  



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