Hot Tea Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If aliens ever land on earth and demand to see our leader, our best chance of survival is to bring them to Lady Gaga.
←Rate | 08-01-2011 20:24 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say,"Help, they've turned me into a parrot." you are wasting everybody's time.
←Rate | 08-17-2011 18:26 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 16:44 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a "Git-R-Done" bumper sticker on a Prius and I don't know what's real anymore.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 19:34 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between a grizzly and a brown bear? Climb a tree. If the bear climbs after you, its a brown bear. If it knocks the tree down, its a grizzly.
←Rate | 01-08-2011 13:55 by Hot Tea Comments (2)  


   messageicon Dear Westboro Baptist Cult, we have a funeral you can protest. It's in Pakistan, we'll help you pack. The Patriot Guard promises to not bother you
←Rate | 05-03-2011 03:17 by Hot Tea Comments (1)  


   messageicon It's 2011. You'd think we'd have a toothpaste that doesn't ruin orange juice by now.
←Rate | 12-30-2010 20:06 by Hot Tea Comments (4)  


   messageicon finally finished ALL of my laundry. Now, I just have to sweep it's ashes out of the fireplace.
←Rate | 01-24-2011 21:21 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants to change out the sound of her car horn for gun fire. I mean, who has an urge to blow a trumpet when you get road rage anyhow?
←Rate | 10-25-2010 18:57 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never dreamed that motherhood would include telling my boys: "Don't pee on the lawn mower!"
←Rate | 06-22-2011 02:20 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should have an option that says "On the Prowl" for your Relationship Status..." Single "just isn't cutting it .
←Rate | 03-27-2011 14:42 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can leap off tall buildings in a single bound, but only once.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:13 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon DEFENITION: Jagermeister - Irreversable decisions in a bottle.
←Rate | 11-09-2010 08:13 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so I can rest medicine didn't work. I'm going to try 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 1 beer instead.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 13:04 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes my mind wanders. I don't know what it does the rest of the time.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 00:04 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon For those of you whose New Years Resolution is to lose weight. There is one simple diet that works. It is, as follows: If it tastes good - spit it out.
←Rate | 01-06-2011 23:06 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon watched numerous horror movies without so much as a flinch, but I just crapped a brick when the toast popped up out of the toaster.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 21:00 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife. And you may ask yourself: Did I remember to clear my browser history?
←Rate | 09-04-2011 19:32 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know who's apartment I stayed at last night, but I just showered here and their shampoo is PHENOMINAL.
←Rate | 02-07-2010 12:45 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Veteran: Someone that wants to choke the crap out of the punk in front of you for not taking his hat off during the National Anthem. Someone that still gets queasy around dehydrated food. Someone that has to use all their might to not tear up during "Taps
←Rate | 11-11-2010 11:34 by Hot Tea Comments (1)  



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