Doc Noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I've always had this fantasy to make love to two women......... Like, in the same year
←Rate | 03-20-2014 16:19 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm an okay dancer until I whip out the finger guns, then I'm just majestic.
←Rate | 09-18-2012 17:50 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hard to believe I once had a phone ATTACHED TO A WALL. When it rang I'd pick it up WITHOUT KNOWING WHO WAS CALLING. Amazing I'm still alive.
←Rate | 03-20-2012 07:42 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you've spent more than ten seconds fondling and sniffing a fruit or vegetable you need to buy it otherwise it's disrespectful
←Rate | 09-30-2015 05:48 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcohol-The best night time:slurring,headache,dehydration,drink spilling, charm killing,so you think you can dance"medicine."
←Rate | 01-09-2012 01:34 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Kardashian wants her bachelorette party to be low key, just an E! camera crew and 100 black dudes dragging their sacks across her face.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 23:39 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's nice finding people from our past. I'm still trying to find the girl from elementary school that couldn't stop sucking her thumb.
←Rate | 05-18-2012 20:16 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet my road rage would be taken more seriously if I spoke German..
←Rate | 04-03-2012 18:38 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Personally, I think failure should be an option
←Rate | 07-01-2014 23:05 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing worse than meeting the right person at the wrong time in your life.
←Rate | 04-07-2014 23:18 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dream job would have two desks — one for work and one for flipping over in blind rages.
←Rate | 12-01-2011 13:21 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good rule of thumb: if you see an adult riding a children’s bicycle, you’re probably in a bad neighborhood.
←Rate | 04-24-2014 22:42 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks..I'm in public
←Rate | 11-28-2012 09:17 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I look at people sometimes and think..for real? That's the sperm that won?
←Rate | 03-02-2012 11:01 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Money went much further in the 1980s when you could peel the price stickers off milk cartons and stick them on anything you needed
←Rate | 09-02-2011 16:44 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The woman in front of me in the checkout line wrote an actual check. I assume she then boarded her carriage and returned to her plantation.
←Rate | 04-27-2012 05:43 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon V@gina jokes are not funny at all. Period.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 14:20 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My bed always shows signs of struggle in the morning.
←Rate | 03-24-2014 08:30 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon A giant spider just attacked the back of my neck and then quickly morphed back into my t-shirt tag!
←Rate | 12-17-2012 20:32 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you wanna know what a guys face looks like during orgasm girls, ask him to play air guitar
←Rate | 05-24-2011 16:12 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  



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