sully Funny Status Messages

   was preparing for Sunday, but I just realized that post-rapture looting makes no sense because so many of us will still be here. Particularly people in public office and law enforcement.... : (

   Just choked on someone's fart cloud in the computer lab. The Rapture can't come soon enough.

   The sucky thing about rapture is that I was totally going to start a workout regime THAT NIGHT. Stupid end of days.

   Rapture Prank: Put small piles of clothes around local churches the morning of 5/22 & record reactions : )

   Maybe this Mississippi flooding is part of the rapture thing? Has anyone thought about building an ark???

   I'm hoping for some good job openings I can fill when people leave for the Rapture.

   I hope that James Earl Jones will be narrating the rapture.....

   Rapture Tip: Bring a trash bag to collect left behind clothes . You'll only have a couple hours before the best stuff is picked over.

   Good morning : ) I was thinking...What if the Rapture happens and you're in the middle of a poo? You'll be floating up to heaven, pooing on everyone below you.......

   My Born Again Christian friend with the Porsche is wondering why I've been following him around all morning........

   RIP Macho Man. He must of had an early boarding pass for the rapture. You will be missed......

   Hey guy's, I just found out that The Rapture might be delayed. Apparently God is waiting on his crops to be ready on Farmville first..........

   A condom? Come on baby... it's the rapture!

   FYI - I just opened washing machine and found clothes, but no one was wearing them. Rapture, anyone???

   It would be pretty cool if, on her last show, Oprah ripped off a mask and it was Michael Jackson.

   Congrats to Kim Kardashian & Reggie Bush uh Cristiano Ronaldo, I mean Nick Cannon? Nick Lachey? Ray J? Miles Austin? Oh Kris Humphries.......

   Happy Hurricane Season.......

   I can say with CERTITUDE.. When you Twitpic your junk, there's bound to be trouble...Weinergate 2011

   Don't blame Congressman Weiner. He was hacked by his evil twin Oscar Meyer.....

   Why haven't we seen a photo of Rep. Weiner's backside? Can't have a wiener without a bun.......Right??