otis Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon nearly 500 million eggs recalled, I'd hate to be the guy who has to put them back in the chickens.
←Rate | 08-23-2010 08:48 by otis Comments (6)  


   messageicon says, if Renea would just watch porn with me, she would understand why I made her buy roller skates and why we have 20 gallons of chocolate pudding in the fridge
←Rate | 08-24-2010 08:20 by otis Comments (1)  


   messageicon caught sticking sharp metal objects into the wall outlets. Now I'm gounded.
←Rate | 04-25-2011 15:59 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Social Security checks are go paperless. Cause if the is something senior citizens are good at it's online banking.
←Rate | 04-28-2011 07:34 by otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon So Apple makes the iphone larger, the ipad smaller (ipad mini) why not just switch names on them and call it a day?
←Rate | 10-22-2012 07:48 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon u guys should be able to charge $ for making the rest of us who copy ur posts look funny. but dont charge me, it was my idea.
←Rate | 10-23-2012 10:15 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any hedge can be a maze if your drunk enough.
←Rate | 04-15-2013 08:12 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ''K'' instead of ''Okay''?
←Rate | 10-21-2013 08:57 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy birthday to the microwave oven. As The very first domestic model was introduced 58 years ago today, by the Tappan stove company in Mansfield, Ohio.Formally known as Tappan @ss LLC.
←Rate | 10-25-2013 10:02 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bong Bowl is on! Just don't drink the water
←Rate | 01-20-2014 06:34 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon I suggest FB replace the "Like" button with "OMAHA!!"
←Rate | 01-21-2014 10:43 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to the recent out break of Norovirus. Royal Caribbean will be changing ships name to Exploader of the Sea.
←Rate | 01-29-2014 18:53 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon going for shots this morning. the dogs are getting rabies and I'm getting starbucks
←Rate | 03-11-2014 11:42 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's my birthday on St Patrick's Day and I'm gonna be drunk all weekend! LET'S GET READY TO STUMMMMBLLLLE!
←Rate | 03-14-2014 10:54 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon What does Obamacare and Obama's NCAA bracket have in common? They are both busted.
←Rate | 03-31-2014 09:12 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Photo bombing is all fun and games until terrorists start doing it.
←Rate | 07-13-2014 22:59 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon I won't be impressed with technology until I can download beer.
←Rate | 08-10-2014 15:23 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon they found the body of the guy who stole all the celebrity's nude photos. Apparently he has been high fived to death.
←Rate | 09-02-2014 07:47 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Arizona Cardinals running back Jonathan Dwyer was arrested Wednesday for domestic violence, according to reports. Let's see, we have Adrian Peterson, Ray Rice and now this idiot accused of domestic violence. Is this a running back thing?
←Rate | 09-17-2014 20:56 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I got the decorations out of the attic yesterday REAL spiders started coming out of the containers.... Well played Halloween, well played.
←Rate | 10-10-2014 11:57 by Otis Comments (0)  


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