Chuck Norris Sayings (beta)

Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:39 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:17 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:14 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris never cries, because of this when he's sad he roundhouse kicks himself and it makes him feel better since he knows he is the only one who can survive the roundhouse.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:14 Comments (0)

There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:13 Comments (0)

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:12 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:59 Comments (0)

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:58 Comments (0)

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:57 Comments (0)

When asked what type of vehicle he drives, Chuck Norris responded slyly with "Don't you mean what kind of vehicle drives me?"

Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:55 Comments (0)

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:52 Comments (0)

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this mans blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a roundhouse kick.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:43 by roflol Comments (0)

BREAKING NEWS: Chuck Norris' ass whooped by Sandy.

Submitted: 10-29-2012 10:59 Comments (0)

I am going to watch the debate with Chuck Norris tonight, I just hope Obama doesn't say anything stupid so Chuck doesn't kick my TV in, Oh but Obama will. . .

Submitted: 10-22-2012 19:10 Comments (0)

Congratulations Felix Baumgartner! But I heard Chuck Norris jumped from 130,000 feet....without the suit!

Submitted: 10-14-2012 14:34 by Massena43 Comments (0)

Enjoying a liquid lunch with Chuck Norris.

Submitted: 10-12-2012 12:05 Comments (0)

It's so COLD outside. If my nipples were any harder, even Chuck Norris wouldn't mess with em!!!

Submitted: 10-10-2012 05:13 by Sorrel Comments (0)

This status is Chuck Norris approved.

Submitted: 09-11-2012 14:07 by Ishnae Comments (0)

Jesus may have been able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Submitted: 08-18-2012 04:16 by The Chuckinator Comments (0)

FACT_ Chuck Norris was born May 6, 1945 and the 'Nazis' surrendered on May 7, 1945.

Submitted: 08-15-2012 14:37 Comments (0)