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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
"when Graham Bell invented the phone, he found two messages from Chuck Norris"
watching animal on midget porn with Chuck Norris and Natalie from The Facts of Life
Saw Chuck Norris gargle peanut butter.
When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up
"Happy Birthday Chuck Norris! When Chuck Norris was born, he delivered himself before delivering a roundhouse kick to the doctor."
"Major earthquake in Japan, Chuck Norris's Birthday. Coincidence ? I don't think so!"
Fox News Reports: Chuck Norris to apologize for causing Earthquake in Japan after overnight partying for his 71st birthday.
"Charlie Sheen, Justin Bieber, & Chuck Norris walk into a bar and the bartender says What the f#@k is this? Some kind of joke?"""""
"Japan gets rocked by an Earthquake, Hawaii gets hit by a Tsunami and Chuck Norris celebrated his 71st birthday that same day. Cowinkydink? I think NOT!"
" so awesome, Chuck Norris wears a shirt with my face on it."
"When Chuck Norris says stop, Mc Hammer doesn't say Hammer time Chuck Norris does."
Charlie Sheen is WINNING... Chuck Norris already won...
Chuck Norris can tell if a lie detector tells a lie.
Somebody saw Chuck Norris' diary. That book is now known as the Guinness Book of World Records
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
"Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet."
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
"Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it"
"When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris."