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Chuck Norris Sayings (beta)

Chuck Norris Facts and Jokes

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Why did the lights go out at the SuperBowl? Chuck Norris was bored.
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Submitted: 02-04-2013 22:13 Comments (0)


Q: Why did the end of the world not happen on 12-21-12? A: Chuck Norris
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Submitted: 12-25-2012 16:07 Comments (0)


@ChuckDamnNorris: Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
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Submitted: 12-12-2012 23:14 by Surge Comments (0)


They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh&t from anybody.
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Submitted: 12-12-2012 08:18 Comments (0)


When life give Chuck Norris lemons, he makes an apple pie, and it'll be the best damn steak you'll ever eat!!!
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Submitted: 11-23-2012 01:08 by Fluff Comments (0)


Leading hand sanitizers claim to kill %99.99 of germs. Chuck Norris can kill %100 of whatever the *blip* he wants.
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Submitted: 11-18-2012 12:37 by PewPew Comments (0)


Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
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Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:39 Comments (0)


Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
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Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:17 Comments (0)


Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.
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Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:14 Comments (0)


Chuck Norris never cries, because of this when he's sad he roundhouse kicks himself and it makes him feel better since he knows he is the only one who can survive the roundhouse.
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Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:14 Comments (0)


There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
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Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:13 Comments (0)


If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down.
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Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:12 Comments (0)


Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
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Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:59 Comments (0)


If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
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Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:58 Comments (0)


Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
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Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:57 Comments (0)


When asked what type of vehicle he drives, Chuck Norris responded slyly with "Don't you mean what kind of vehicle drives me?"
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Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:55 Comments (0)


If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:52 Comments (0)


A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this mans blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a roundhouse kick.
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Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:43 by roflol Comments (0)


BREAKING NEWS: Chuck Norris' ass whooped by Sandy.
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Submitted: 10-29-2012 10:59 Comments (0)


I am going to watch the debate with Chuck Norris tonight, I just hope Obama doesn't say anything stupid so Chuck doesn't kick my TV in, Oh but Obama will. . .
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Submitted: 10-22-2012 19:10 Comments (0)


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