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I don't need walls around my heart... why? because Chuck Norris is guarding it
"Chuck Norris once told Steven Hawkins to sit down, he hasn't gotten up since..."
Why did Chuck Norris' aunt give birth to him? no one had the balls to sleep with his mom
Chuck Norris bottles his farts and sells them on Craigslist as cans of whoop ass
When Chuck Norris does pull ups he doesn't lower himself to the ground but lifts the earth to him
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
"When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live."
"some people wear superman pajamas, superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas."
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris
"Chuck Norris once donated 5 gallons of blood to Red Cross, none of it was his."
There used to be a street named Chuck Norris but they had to change it cause nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris deleted his Facebook & created fist book!
How many woodchucks would Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris would chuck woodchucks?
"if at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris"
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity he went out and found it.
^ well I found Chuck Norris he was hiding in my pants O_o
"Chuck Norris does not wear condoms, because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris"
In scrabble if you spell Chuck Norris you automatically win.
Chuck Norris Can answer a Missed Call
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter...... Enough said.