Chuck Norris Sayings (beta)

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:58 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:59 Comments (0)

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:12 Comments (0)

There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:13 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris never cries, because of this when he's sad he roundhouse kicks himself and it makes him feel better since he knows he is the only one who can survive the roundhouse.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:14 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:14 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:17 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:39 Comments (0)

Leading hand sanitizers claim to kill %99.99 of germs. Chuck Norris can kill %100 of whatever the *blip* he wants.

Submitted: 11-18-2012 12:37 by PewPew Comments (0)

When life give Chuck Norris lemons, he makes an apple pie, and it'll be the best damn steak you'll ever eat!!!

Submitted: 11-23-2012 01:08 by Fluff Comments (0)

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh&t from anybody.

Submitted: 12-12-2012 08:18 Comments (0)

@ChuckDamnNorris: Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

Submitted: 12-12-2012 23:14 by Surge Comments (0)

Q: Why did the end of the world not happen on 12-21-12? A: Chuck Norris

Submitted: 12-25-2012 16:07 Comments (0)

Why did the lights go out at the SuperBowl? Chuck Norris was bored.

Submitted: 02-04-2013 22:13 Comments (0)

Heard they found a way to scare off future rogue asteroids....Chuck Norris and the old guy from the Dos Equis commercials are going to stand on both sides of the world and just stare into space!

Submitted: 02-16-2013 12:52 by totalpackage Comments (0)

Chuck Norris has been to Mars. That's why there's no life there.

Submitted: 02-17-2013 15:43 Comments (0)

When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom to the hospital...

Submitted: 03-03-2013 01:25 by Incrediblematt Comments (0)

Chuck Norris can update his facebook status with a typewriter

Submitted: 03-03-2013 01:26 by Incrediblematt Comments (0)

Whenever in doubt... Consult Chuck Norris. Just sayin'.

Submitted: 03-14-2013 01:11 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris has a G-mail account. It's gmail@chucknorris.com

Submitted: 03-18-2013 12:42 Comments (0)